I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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