Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
