Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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