Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
