I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He felt like a one man threesome
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
