playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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