I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
