I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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