Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i would one night stand the shit outta him
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
