I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
