Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
