He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
