i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
