As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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