wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
