Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
