I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
