So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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