We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
