I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
