Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
