That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
