i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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