Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
