Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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