watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
We're too hungover to prance.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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