There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
