Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
