What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
