It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
