I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Rumble strips road head = magical
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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