Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
