it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
