I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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