You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
