I'm so fucking centered right now
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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