also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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