so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i think my tv is drunk
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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