im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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