You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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