are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
