I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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