Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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