If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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