I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
