Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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