I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
