I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
