The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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