I wish i was in the wii world.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize