I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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