Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
