Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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