You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
