And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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