Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
